Ding Dong, the Cottonnelle is Dead!

If all politics is personal, then does that mean that anything personal is political?

I just finished my last roll of Kleenex Cottonnelle toilet tissue, and I am celebrating its departure from my home, never to return. Usually, my only decision point in purchasing toilet tissue is to avoid the brands with horrendously obnoxious ads (even though Mr. Whipple has been gone for years, I would have to be pretty desperate to ever buy Charmin). Then I discovered Cottonnelle.

I'm not going to get graphic here, but suffice it to say that Cottonnelle self-destructs at the point of use, leaving little paper crumbs all over the toilet. Not even the "shiny white" pathetic excuse for toilet paper (imagine cheap waxed paper) used on British Rail trains sinks to the level of quality embodied by Cottonnelle. I'd rather rub Cottonnelle than shiny white on my face, but that's not the primary reason I buy toilet tissue.

Any suggestions for how the poor quality of Cottonnelle is all Tom DeLay's Karl Rove's fault?