Plagiarizing Colbert's Plagiarism

On Thursday's Colbert Report, Stephen read a passage from his world-famous literary classic Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad Seven: Lady Nocture, a Tek Jansen Adventure:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, to be called Ishmael. Hello, God, it's me, the catcher in the rye, who, like Harry Potter, knows it is a sin to kill a mockingbird," I thought, as I unholstered my gamma blaster.

As if it weren't already bad enough that all of Shakespeare is being produced by a million chimpanzees typing away on decrepit old Wang word-processor stations, now they're even recycling the monkeys. What is the world coming to?

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