Monday, February 06, 2006

Russ Lieber kicks Colbert's 屁股

Yes, they don't call him 斯蒂芬爱法国煤炭熊 for nothing!

On Wednesday night's Colbert Réport, Stephen Colbert finally stopped running and hiding from his intellectual superior and moral beacon of hope, Russ Lieber of WQXO in Madison, Wisconsin. Stephen, ever the sycophantic Bush yes-man, knew that he could scarcely hope even to withstand the mighty onslaught of Russ Lieber and the Lieber Lesions! Mr. Colbert's fantasies of tall women picking up heavy objects would take a back seat to the threat posed by the fearsome Bären-Lieber. Stephen did his best to gird for an intellectual bare-knuckle bruising.

Here is a transcript of Stephen's trouncing:
Lieber: Thank you, Stephen, but I must point out that this is the first time you've asked me here.

Colbert: Okay, let's keep this civil. Subject is organic farming; I'm against it.

Lieber: Well, 往来 that, there's a nigger stealing potato chips! Let's go!! This is America, goddammit! Shoot to kill! Kill that nigger with his potato chips!!

Colbert: This is the real world we're talking about, not one of your folk song dragon kingdom drum circles. If we let market forces take their course, companies will pay people because if they don't no one will be able to buy their products, and vice-versa.

Lieber: Well, listen. I personally am not willing to trust these mega-corporazis and nucleo-industrial deathglomerates to pay people fairly just because they should. We need something that benefits all workers.
After a drubbing like that, is it any wonder that Stephen paused to sniff his marker pen before scrawling "We'll be right back" on his cocktail napkin? What a loser!

[Editorial note: The Third Path disavows all responsibility for errors in transcription, whether caused by pseudo-autobiographical egomania, faulty pre-war intelligence, acid flashbacks, or any other factor or circumstance. In fact, if the transcript above was pulled right out of my ass, what are you going to do? Have Russ Lieber sue me?]

God Bless America!