I have actually met Bill Maher live and in person once before, but the conversation may reasonably be paraphrased along these lines:
Bill Maher: Next![In due deference to James Frey and Oprah, I should take care to point out that, although this incident did actually happen, specifically at A Clean Well-Lighted Place for Books a few months ago, my reproduction of the exact wording of the conversation is fabricated from whole cloth. In particular, I'm reasonably certain that I did not say, "Will you sign my book, please?" in those exact words, but I stand by the authenticity of my memoirs. I even gave Bill Maher a beautiful souvenir "Bush's Chicken" styrofoam cup as a memento of our meeting. I'm not sure, but I think he even chuckled slightly before tossing it in the trash.]
Me: Hi, it's wonderful to meet you. Will you sign my book, please?
Bill Maher: Here you go. ... Next!
In just two days, I will have a much more meaningful (albeit one-sided) conversation with Mr. Maher at Davies Hall, the home of the San Francisco Symphony, where Bill Maher will be regaling me (and a few