Thursday, November 10, 2005

Hazards of watching Christian tv

I force my poor little TiVo to record all sorts of awful stuff, like the Christian Broadcasting Network's daily attempt at news. Tonight, I was treated to a faaaabulous commercial for (no joke!) a plush-toy Nativity scene, complete with tote bag! Just be sure to shove Baby Jesus in the bottom so he can suffocate under the dung from the donkey and the sheep! (But don't let the three wise men sleep in the same manger, or God will smite thee.) The chirpy voiceover announcer joyously tells us that all of this won't cost the $70 that we would expect for this kind of hand-crafted schlocky kitsch — we can get it all for only $9.95 (plus shipping and handling and applicable sales tax) — because it's made by slave labor! in a Chinese prison! where Christianity is illegal! It even comes with a free Ginsu knife! Praise Jesus!

Yes, we're Christians, but we're also Republicans, so we're not above exploiting those poor heathens who work for 35¢ a day. If we paid them a living wage, they'd just go spend it on booze and whores, because they're heathens!

[For the satire-impaired, I'm not mocking Christianity nor even Nativity scenes. I am mocking the commercialization of kitsch in the name of Christianity.]