Friday, March 24, 2006


You blaspheme if you pretend that God — however you see Him — has no sense of humor. It is blasphemy for any mortal to claim on behalf of Allah or God or Yahweh or ײ or יהוה or עשל or الله or الغفور or النبي that He is not amused. It is manifestly self-evident that God has a sense of humor, and that light-hearted joy is a greater expression of godliness than self-righteous rage.

! עוחל, עוחל, הרבה ילדים יש אין מה לעחול אז עוחל

It is no less blasphemous to claim perfect understanding of what Allah would condemn or permit than to claim to be a prophet of Allah on the same level as Muhammad.

أن يدّعي تفهم كاملة من ما الله عاقب أو سمح أن يدّعي أن يكون نبي يتماثل إلى محمّد۪

If such a thing as a god exists, then it is by definition beyond human comprehension, with no exception made for Jesus or Muhammad or Moses or George W. Bush. You've probably heard the tired old story about the blindfolded scientists trying to identify an elephant: each can touch only one small part of the animal, but naturally assumes that the part she is touching is representative of the whole. Likewise, to claim that your finite experience of what you call God is representative of the entire nature of God, and that anyone else's experience of God that differs from your own must be wrong, is to belittle God. Humans cannot perceive infinity; we can only contemplate it.

When I say that these limitations placed upon God, or answers given in His name, are blasphemous, I do not mean that they blaspheme my own personal concept of God: I mean that they blaspheme any and every concept of God.

Likewise, those people who demand the death penalty for the man in Afghanistan who converted from Islam to Christianity, are blaspheming Allah just as much as they are blaspheming Jesus or the Holy Trinity.

I don't want to sound like I'm picking on Muslims here, so let's point out some other blasphemies:
  • God commands George W. Bush to sacrifice the lives of others, the limbs of others, the money of others, and the humanity of others, in the name of Freedom.

  • God commands Israel to keep the West Bank, and will strike down anyone who trades land for peace.

  • God gave Israel to the Jews.

  • God gave Palestine to the Arabs.

  • God gave the United States to a bunch of wealthy white men; screw the damned Injuns.

  • God sent Hurricane Katrina to break the levees of New Orleans as punishment for some sin or sins by its residents.

  • God sent the Indonesian tsunami as punishment for some sin or sins by the people of Bandah Aceh and/or some other place the wave inundated.

  • Those who have never heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ are condemned to eternal Hell.

  • _______ [fill in the blank] are the "chosen people" of God.

  • _______ [fill in the blank] are spurned by God.

  • _______ [fill in the blank] is the only way to follow God.

  • _______ [fill in the blank] has the authority to prescribe earthly punishment for the blasphemy of another person.
If you believe in a God who is infinite and omniscient, then it is blasphemy to suggest that you understand anything but a narrow glimpse of the whole.

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